You can never say no to a wizard.

I'm going to build a giant aquarium and fill it up with two of every kind of sea creature.
I heard there is going to be a bad drought.

What ever happened to bare knuckle boxing? Since when did it become illegal to punch someone in the head? Besides, i thought there was some clause that made it legal to do so if someone couldn't keep their mouth shut.
Sure, now i can't go back to the mall and everyone was worried about mr. ten year "look at me, look at me"? BUT NOW WHERE WILL I BUY CINNABONS!? Thats a SPECIALTY STORE you can't get them not at the mall! Where's my damn sympathy? Where's the ice pack for my broken heart and my grumblin' tummy?!
On a non related side note does anyone know how to remove handcuffs, i lost my key.

laser-sharp foxcar wins by a hair!

Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Not you...someone else. Okay it is you...Just kidding! but seriously it is.

If your mortal enemy let a wild jungle cat loose in your house would you feel bad for murdering it first? I think i might feel terrible at first, but then i wouldn't when i realize that it's either me or the jungle cat.
There is no such thing as a draw when large felines are involved. Someone will die.
Now, If your mortal enemy filled your basement with water, would you feel bad for drowning him in it? That i think I could potentially live with.
What if your mortal enemy sabotaged your dreams of becoming a famous painter? would you paint him naked for everyone to see?
Enough mortal enemy questions for now.

I think I'm going to build a boxcar and enter a competition, i really just want a trophy for being good at something. You think i wouldn't play dirty? Don't think that for a second because i would, you shitty friend! I would make secret spikes on the hub caps, outfit it with a mad spoiler, put a nasty plough on the front in case i need to shovel my driveway in the winter time and finally attach a catapult on the hood so i could launch rocks at people way in front of me, or flowers to cute girls in the crowd. Nobody could stand a chance, I'd call it the laser-sharp foxcar or something, haven't really though about it all that much though.

Don't let anyone lie to you and tell you that they are smart, if someone tells you they are smart they aren't. Just like if someone tells you they are hot before you meet them in person. They may not even be the gender they claim to be and in that case run! Do your self a favor and don't run if they are genuinely confused about it because then it is polite to stay and talk. Maybe help them discover their true gender, that would be really nice and compassionate of you, unless they don't want to know cause then you'd be a major jerk and no one likes a surprise spoiler.
Lesson learned, don't be a gender surprise spoiler unless that person with said gender in question is unborn and you tell the mother who is carrying the baby. Then it's is hilarious and acceptable.

stay fresh, egg heads.
seth

MIND/BODY EXPERIMENTS

Hey chumps, long time no post. I have to be honest, i kind of totally forgot about this blog; but thanks to Andy I remembered and now you will once again be able to read about my heart and mind....until i forget about this blog again; which is a major possibility lets be honest.

I am moving in a few days and that got me thinking, what if i could not only move homes but also move bodies? If I could exchange bodies (including faces) whose would i choose? Oh yeah, i could keep my own mind too.
There is the obvious body candidates: Jude Law, Johnny Depp and Andre the Giant (would that require resurrection? or then would i just be zombie Andre the giant, because that is not so appealing) but also there is the not so obvious, like a robot or an animal...or a girl (wink). What would I do with my new body? Well, probably run first, whats sweeter than seeing your favorite celebrity just plain booking it.?
Especially if they look terrified while doing it. I would probably also rob banks, learn karate, punch everyone who is less attractive than me in the face..YES, even girls. I would probably also try to rule a large group of people. I mean individual size, not large as a whole. I will be the president of fat people United States of Fat Asses.
You never see fat bakers. just saying.

What if i could keep my body and just change minds though...because thats totally different, a sexy body is different than a sexy mind. A sexy body is sexy... but a sexy mind is smart. I would maybe choose to have George Lucas' mind, or Einstein's or C.S Lewis but i wouldn't want any of their bodies. If I wanted to be fat and ugly i would just eat pizza all day because that is delicious.

WAIT! WHAT IF I COULD CHOOSE SOMEONES MIND AND PUT IT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY!? I could be like a mind/body dictator...I would conduct mind/body experiments! I could take Angelina Jolie's body and put Mike Myers' mind in it. That would make Wayne's World crazy! Michael Jordan's body Michale J. Fox's mind...think about it. Stephen Hawkin's Body Steven Tylers Mind. Not the other way around. Thats just cruel.

This is kind of blowing my mind, let alone everyone who is reading this,
So, in the words of the almighty Angelina...party on Garth.

Beard City Episode 6: The Date

Christmas Tricks

Instead of gifts this Christmas, I am going to give pranks.
For small scale I'm thinking, something like this:

Seth: hey andy, take this gift i wrapped for you...
Andy: What the!
Seth: You see how i made your clothes disappear off your body and reappear in this wrapped gift box.
Andy: I'm naked!

For large scale it 's a bit more like this:
Matt: WHO BURNED EVERYTHING IN MY ROOM!
Seth: Oh, I don't know matt!
Matt: Seth if this was you i am actually going to charge you for arson!
Seth: HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS! ;)
Andy: WHO CLEARED MY HARD DRIVE!?

Beard CIty Episode 4: Bed City

episode 3: secret basements